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Social Anxiety
Often people misinterpret social anxiety. You're either an asshole or your ill-equipped to handle life as an adult. I've teetered between both.
People who meet me often ask how I can even consider myself socially awkward or...gasp...a person with social anxiety disorder. Well, I shall share an ancient secret with you...they may call it liquid courage, I call it social lubricant.
I never like to use it as a crutch, but let me know the last time you met me and thought "Wow, I'm sure she is just as interesting sober." Yup, sad, but true. True not because I don't have these interesting stories and amazing qualities in my body, true because I'm scared as all hell to share them with people.
Social lubricant allows me to be larger than me. And like I said, it isn't crutch. Catch me on the right time and I will tell you more truths about your life and mine than you ever wanted to know. Hell, I will probably tell you more about your mom than that she reads "Fifty Shades of Grey". (Trust me, she is an interesting lady and you should appreciate that!)
At any rate, someone recently showed me this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
This killed me in so many ways. I am a crier, disclaimer. And I am always sympathetic to someone who thinks they are as pathetically awkward as me, but this really struck me. In fact, I think the part that really got me was when Royce analyzed how good he was (aka up there with Anthony "unibrowsexyhashtag" Davis, etc.) but realized he would NEVER be drafted like that because of his 'condition.' I put it in quotation marks because many people with anxiety disorders do not feel like others understand them or consider it a true disorder.
I get it. And that comment, as insignificant as it sounds, resounded with me. Perhaps because I followed college hoops or because I have an appreciation for human grooming. Either way, it stuck. White hit the nail on the head. No matter how good you are at something, it doesn't matter. If you aren't marketable, brandable or personable, you aren't necessarily worth the bargain.
Well here is the rub: Some people are smart and have pure skill, but they aren't genius public speakers or super confident enough to sell themselves. Forget about the plane rides for a second. This kid cannot even be confident enough in himself to know he is the real deal. And he is. That is something that doesn't fly in the NBA and a lot of other places. Trust me, I know.
I can't interview worth a shit, and I KNOW I've lost job opportunities because of my anxiety. It KILLS me because I know im capable and super smart....and most of all, dedicated! Just because I can't sell you a bill of goods about myself doesn't mean you should not hire me. But one thing I did learn about this video is that part of growing up is getting over the anxiety. Sure, it doesn't happen all pretty like everyone else. We don't go to a college public speaking course and see that our grade is 80% based on the speech we give about whether we want Chick-fil-a on campus or not. In fact, we'd rather wish a fatal illness on ourselves than stand up and give that speech....even though it is worth a fraction of our grade, and even less of a fraction of our time in the grand scheme of things. And it won't heal our ailing family members or our sad friends....we just dont even want to do it. Many people see that as immature and selfish. They have no idea. I am not cool, never thought I was, and a goddamned school speech would never change that. It DOESNT MATTER! It is anxiety. You don't know when it will happen or where it comes from. The important part is you know it interferes with your success and makes you look less than.
Kudos to Royce White for saying "Fuck you, anxiety! I have the talent and know how to give this a try." I will never be in that public of an arena, but this gives me hope. I will never ever again compare myself to the Anthony Davis' of the job search world. I have something awesome and talented to offer. If the world isn't ready for it now, we BOTH can work on it.
I will never give up being a perfectionist and I want to be outgoing and be the cream of the crop, but if this kid can attempt to do it, so can I!
People who meet me often ask how I can even consider myself socially awkward or...gasp...a person with social anxiety disorder. Well, I shall share an ancient secret with you...they may call it liquid courage, I call it social lubricant.
I never like to use it as a crutch, but let me know the last time you met me and thought "Wow, I'm sure she is just as interesting sober." Yup, sad, but true. True not because I don't have these interesting stories and amazing qualities in my body, true because I'm scared as all hell to share them with people.
Social lubricant allows me to be larger than me. And like I said, it isn't crutch. Catch me on the right time and I will tell you more truths about your life and mine than you ever wanted to know. Hell, I will probably tell you more about your mom than that she reads "Fifty Shades of Grey". (Trust me, she is an interesting lady and you should appreciate that!)
At any rate, someone recently showed me this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
This killed me in so many ways. I am a crier, disclaimer. And I am always sympathetic to someone who thinks they are as pathetically awkward as me, but this really struck me. In fact, I think the part that really got me was when Royce analyzed how good he was (aka up there with Anthony "unibrowsexyhashtag" Davis, etc.) but realized he would NEVER be drafted like that because of his 'condition.' I put it in quotation marks because many people with anxiety disorders do not feel like others understand them or consider it a true disorder.
I get it. And that comment, as insignificant as it sounds, resounded with me. Perhaps because I followed college hoops or because I have an appreciation for human grooming. Either way, it stuck. White hit the nail on the head. No matter how good you are at something, it doesn't matter. If you aren't marketable, brandable or personable, you aren't necessarily worth the bargain.
Well here is the rub: Some people are smart and have pure skill, but they aren't genius public speakers or super confident enough to sell themselves. Forget about the plane rides for a second. This kid cannot even be confident enough in himself to know he is the real deal. And he is. That is something that doesn't fly in the NBA and a lot of other places. Trust me, I know.
I can't interview worth a shit, and I KNOW I've lost job opportunities because of my anxiety. It KILLS me because I know im capable and super smart....and most of all, dedicated! Just because I can't sell you a bill of goods about myself doesn't mean you should not hire me. But one thing I did learn about this video is that part of growing up is getting over the anxiety. Sure, it doesn't happen all pretty like everyone else. We don't go to a college public speaking course and see that our grade is 80% based on the speech we give about whether we want Chick-fil-a on campus or not. In fact, we'd rather wish a fatal illness on ourselves than stand up and give that speech....even though it is worth a fraction of our grade, and even less of a fraction of our time in the grand scheme of things. And it won't heal our ailing family members or our sad friends....we just dont even want to do it. Many people see that as immature and selfish. They have no idea. I am not cool, never thought I was, and a goddamned school speech would never change that. It DOESNT MATTER! It is anxiety. You don't know when it will happen or where it comes from. The important part is you know it interferes with your success and makes you look less than.
Kudos to Royce White for saying "Fuck you, anxiety! I have the talent and know how to give this a try." I will never be in that public of an arena, but this gives me hope. I will never ever again compare myself to the Anthony Davis' of the job search world. I have something awesome and talented to offer. If the world isn't ready for it now, we BOTH can work on it.
I will never give up being a perfectionist and I want to be outgoing and be the cream of the crop, but if this kid can attempt to do it, so can I!
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